Place: Musa Bistro
Activity: Having a deep thought
Kinda feel like I'm alone at this current moment. Speaker are blasting some soft 80's rock/disco songs, Not really sure. Well, there is Jeremy, sleeping on the swing at the current time. KLCC is brightly lit, hundreds, perhaps thousands, of cars has passed by my seat. Everyone seems eager to get back to their destination, ignoring others. My fingers are shaking, typing this post. I really really cannot shake off this feeling. Hurm thinking back what i have been doing and experiencing for this past few years, changed me a lot. Some moments are difficult to handle, but that is how human grows up right. Each time those memories crept up my mind unanticipatedly, my knees will go weak, my heart will pound like there is some kind of a timer attached to it, not a pretty experience to have.
One question. WHY? I felt like I'm an unclean one, as shards of these memories stabbed me repeatedly. Jokes are sling all around, yet nothing heals. Loneliness. Some people bear with it. Some are content. Some people, forced to love it. No, this emptiness is not about love. This is a journey, searching for shards or fragments that were left by me when I embarked on this life adventure.
Maybe it is the city life. Or perhaps, our mentality. Greeting strangers seems wrong to the uninitiated, being kind surprised others. Value? I wouldn't say that it is non-existent, but how much does it worth? We are not humble, we are just, polite. I am just an empty vessel, ever longing for the little fragments to fill me. How about you?
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