Unnecessary Thought 08: Future

Time: 2 a.m

Place: Wangsa Maju's playground

Had a talk with my own cousin about works and such when it suddenly hits me that most of my peers around my age are working or going to work soon, but im still stuck at doing diploma. I have been wasting my time for several years because of my stupidity. I also realized that there is still a long road ahead for me to catch up with them, and i only have 5 years to get enough money for my 'settling down' plan.  And despite of all the planning that i did to make sure everything went smooth, future might hold a surprise for me.

I hate future for the fact that it is unpredictable, and sometimes, even after doing the best that you can, the result will still be bad. I know the term of silver lining bla bla bla, but that is uttered only by the people who is not experiencing the bad moment. I'm simply tired of listening to all those meaningless consolation because it doesn't help. Tell me how can it help. In fact, usually people don't pay heed to all those consolation and at times, it only caused more grievance.

I know the uncertainty of future give us a sparks of hope, but don't any of you wish that you want to know what will happen next so that you can prevent it? Don't you worry that your kids might turn up as a bad person, the business that you are handling right now might go for bankruptcy and how about, if your spouse is going to cheat on you one day? Isn't it scary being left in the dark for all those reasons? The reason why I hate future so much? I spent thousands of bucks to get my certificate, what if the job that i get isn't the one that pay much. Owh and i'm wondering who am i destined to be with.